How to Preserve Your Party Memories

I don’t have a single photo of any of the parties of my childhood and consequently I can’t remember anything specific about them other than that I had parties. I remember a few of the standard games we played at most every party and that we went ice skating once but other than that, it is all gone. Sure we didn’t do themes, there were no elaborate decorations or cakes and even if we had taken photos they certainly wouldn’t have been Pinterest worthy events, yet I wish I had just one photo from each one to help me remember. When I started having parties for my own children I vowed that I would make it a point to preserve the memories as best I could. I am a journal writer and if nothing else, I have recorded a few details of each party in writing. The photos I took over the years, however, are less impressive. Often I got so caught up in the details of the parties that I missed out on wonderful Kodak moments that I will never happen again. But, the point is, I did take photos. Remember, the photos don’t have to be perfect, even a quick snapshot taken with your phone, is better than nothing. Here are some suggestions to make capturing the memories easier and better:

•Consider getting an adult friend, a sitter, or spouse to take the pictures or videos so you can devote yourself to the children. Yes, you can do it yourself, but you’ll be spreading yourself pretty thin.

•Prepare the area you will be taking pictures by opening all the shades or curtains and turning on as many lights as possible. The more light you have the better quality of your images (this applies to both video and still photography).

•To take a group photo, tell the children you’re going to count to 3 and take one “serious” pose. Next tell them they can be as “goofy” as they want to be while you count again; you’ll probably get two photos worth saving! You can also try to

Party Manners Please! Thank You.

Naturally you’d like your birthday child to be a beautifully behaved, courteous host or hostess who is more concerned about their guests’ pleasure than about his or her own. Yeah, well, don't hold your breath. More likely that won’t happen for a good many years. Parties often bring out the worst in very young children–your own and the guests. While manners are important, don’t ruin the party for your child by prompting or scolding; this isn’t the time.

Though your child's natural inclination will not yet be to assume the perfect role of host, you can prevent embarrassing rudeness by talking about the party beforehand. We are so used to party traditions that we often forget to tell a 2 or 3 year old what to expect. It’s a good idea to talk about the sequence of events and the rules you expect to be followed. You can try to get a few simple messages about good manners across to all but the youngest of children by following these simple suggestions:

•Encourage your child to disguise his or her ‘me first’ behavior, at least to the extent of saying hello to the guests before grabbing the presents.

Presents at Kid's Parties--When to Open the Gifts and How to Make it Go Smoothly

For most kids, the presents are the highlight of their party. Sometimes, however, it can be a difficult time for the guests since, after all, the presents are not for them. Also, children can be brutally honest and say the darndest things. My nephew, for example, was thrilled with most of the toys he received as gifts but when he opened some clothes from his grandmother he tossed them asside and said, "I hate this!" My sister-in-law was mortified and had to quickly try to make him apologize. It is important to talk with the birthday child before the party about manners. Stress the importance of saying "thank you" for each present--even the ones they may not love. Play "What If?" with the child to practice what to say if they already have something like the gift they just opened, if they don't like the gift or if there is any problem with the gift in any way (for example, if they have an allergy or are not allowed to have certain toys like guns).

When it comes to presents I prefer to leave the present opening for the end of the party but really,

How to Plan a Party

What makes a party work? I am sure that if I had an unlimited budget, my parties would all be amazing. I could just call a professional party planner and tell them the date and expectations for my party and they would see that it all happened. Unfortunately I have never had an unlimited budget when throwing any party. In fact, I have often had to be very creative to accommodate my limited budget and truthfully, I think if I were to totally turn my parties over to a professional, I would miss out on the satisfaction that comes from planning and executing all of the party details. The key to any successful party is in the organization and effort that goes into the planning. Spontaneous parties are possible, but usually a well planned party is more relaxing for the host and tends to go smoother than one that is haphazardly thrown together at the last minute. Here is a list of a possible party planning schedule that you can print up and use as a check list. Click here for printable version.

One Month To Party:
□ Generate a Budget
□ Choose a Theme
□ Create a Guest List – If it’s an event in honour of someone else, get an address book from that person or from his or her friends and family.
□ Select a Menu – Are you having a sit-down dinner or buffet? Hors d’oeuvres or snack foods? Will you be making the food yourself or hiring a caterer? Are there specific foods you’re going to serve? If you have a theme, try to make the food fit that theme.
□ Consider decorations
□ Send out invitations if RSVP is needed

Two Weeks to Party:
□ Send out invitations if no RSVP needed
□ Take Inventory of party supplies
  □  tableware
□  cutlery
□  linens
□  tables
□  chairs
□  decorations
□  party favors
□ Book Entertainment, Catering and Party Rentals – Most places are able to assist you, but the more time that is given to them the better. This ensures that you will get your first choices.
□ Place Special Orders if needed
□  the cake
□  floral arrangements
□  specialty foods
□  decorations
□  Shop for Non-Perishables – Anything including food that won’t spoil by the party date
□  napkins
□  beverages
□  decorations
□  costumes
□  supplies for games or activities
□  new outfit for the host

One Week to Party:
□  Finalize with caterers, hired entertainment or party rentals.
□  Call any RSVPs who haven’t responded.
□  Review Party Plan and consider the logistics of party
□  schedule of events including games and other activities
□  seating arrangements
□  food prep and serving areas
□  place for shoes and coats
□ Grocery and Last Minute Shopping – Even if you’re having the event catered, it’s always better to have some essentials such as milk, eggs, butter, bread and snacks available just in case. Also grab some last-minute items as they come up and stock up on toilet paper!
□ Decide on Music

Day Before Party:
□ Clean where guests will see especially the bathroom!
□ Decorate –  Do as much as possible the day before the party, even if that means ducking under streamers for the evening. It will be one less thing to do on the actual party date.
□ Solicit help from friends or family
□ Pre-Party Food Prep – Place bottles of pop and water in the refrigerator so they will be nice and cool for your guests when they arrive. Also cook or bake any foods that can be left out or refrigerated overnight or create mixtures for easy use on the day of.

Party Day:
□ Pick up helium balloons and cake (if ordered)
□ Finish food prep – Have a list ready of all the items being served and prepare them in order of what doesn’t need to be served hot to food that does.
□ Set the table
□ Organize Chairs and Tables.
□ Note Delivery Schedule for all rentals or catering
□ Get Serving Dishes and Snacks Ready
□ Have any props for games or crafts ready
□ Have FUN and relax!

Photo credit © Poznyakov | Dreamstime.com 

How to Throw a Party for A One Year Old

As important as this first milestone is, let's be honest, your child’s first birthday party is really for you and the family. Your hands will guide tiny ones in opening the presents, you will end up blowing out the candle, and you will accept the congratulations. At the moment, the party will not be meaningful for your one year old, and you won’t hurt his or her feelings if you choose to make it a celebration for adults only.

A one year old will delight in the attention and atmosphere of the occasion, but the concept of a party is not within his or her grasp. The birthday child of this age has been known to be far more intrigued with the boxes and wrapping paper than with the gifts.

If you do decide on a party with other children or babies present, you will want to have a very short party, a half hour to an hour, unless you have plenty of room and equipment so the babies can go to bed while the adults enjoy themselves. When deciding on the time of day for the party, take your child's nap schedule into consideration. Also you should childproof your play area carefully, remembering that it will probably contain both crawling and walking babies.

There shouldn't be a lot of organized activities or games. Toys, bubbles, puzzles, play dough (homemade from flour and water is best. Click here for recipe ), a short story or puppet show or a few rounds of "Ring Around the Rosies" are entertainment enough. Songs and finger plays are also fun at this age but remember a one year old's attention span is very short and you only need one or two quick activities to make them happy (click here for fun songs or finger plays). Forcing this age of kids to do races or attempt games will only be a disappointing and frustrating experience for all involved. Children at this age don't really play with other kids, but they often are happy to have them near by. They have no understanding of the concept of sharing and should not be forced to share as much as encouraged to play nicely.

Snacks and finger food  like fish crackers, Cheerios and baby biscuits are always a bit hit with this age. Make sure you keep food that could be considered a choking hazard out of reach of small children. A cupcake or slice of cake is always in order but avoid giving them too much sugar as it may upset their tummy.

One of the most important things you should have at your child's first birthday is a camera. Photos will be the only way your child will "remember" the event and help them to know that you cared about celebrating this important milestone in their life.

How to Throw a Surprise Party

Most everybody loves a surprise. I say "most" because it is true that there are some people out there who hate surprises. So before you consider throwing a surprise party, you have to ask yourself if the person you want to surprise will actually enjoy this. The fact that you have gone to a lot of trouble in your attempt to have a special event may sometimes be overlooked if the guest of honor is shy, doesn't like attention, or stresses with change or the unknown. When my husband hit 40 I thought it would be fun to surprise him with a big party but after 15 years of marriage I knew he wouldn't enjoy it as much as I would and decided instead to celebrate by going out to dinner with friends with no surprises attached. When I told him later of my original intentions he thanked me for not having the surprise party.

After you've honestly evaluated the guest of honor and decided that they would enjoy or at least appreciate a surprise party, you are ready to start planning and plotting. As the host you must be prepared to dream up a clever scheme to fool the guest of honor and succeed in surprising them. This requires creativity and usually a bit of deception. To help you out, here are some tips to keep the surprise a surprise.

• Plan ahead. It is hard to throw a surprise party at the last minute. It is possible, but there are so many things to consider that giving yourself enough time to insure everything will work out will be less stressful and the chances of it working out will increase.
• Pretend to have another event or party at the same time. For my parents 50th wedding anniversary we pretended to have a family reunion. This made it possible for me to talk about the party with my parents. It explained why family members from out of town, including myself, were coming in to town and even gave me an excuse to get help with the guest list of extended family members. For my daughter's surprise 16th birthday, I staged a fake party at another friend's house in town that she and all her friends were invited to. This made it easy for her to want to go and helped her be in the party mood when she arrived at the real party.
• Arrange for the party to be before or after the actual event. My daughter's surprise 16th birthday was actually on her half birthday. Before my daughter turned 16 she insisted that she "didn't want a party" and I naively believed her. It wasn't until a few months after she turned 16 that she confessed that she was hoping I would throw her a surprise party but obviously she couldn't ask for one. Apparently she had hinted for several years that she would like a surprise party for her 16th birthday but I didn't get the hint. I felt horrible and quickly tried to figure out how I could fix it. I calculated that she would be exactly 16 1/2 at the end of spring break and devised a plan to surprise her then.
• Think carefully about the location of the party. Often when throwing a surprise party it is best to not have it at the guest of honor's house because it is hard to hide decorations, food and other party indicators. If you limit your decorations and can keep the guest of honor occupied away from home for a few hours, it is possible to have the party at the guest of honor's home. I threw a surprise party at our house for my son's birthday and his friend's just kept him out all day. The one advantage of having the party at the guest of honor's house is that you know they will show up, eventually. Having the party at a location other than the guest of honor's house requires a reason to go to the other location. For my daughter's surprise party where she thought we were going to a party at a friends, I had to have an excuse for stopping on the way at my sister-in-law's house (the actual location of the surprise party) and a reason for all of us to get out of the car (I pretended to need everyone to take in chairs for my sister-in-law).
• Tell children last minute. If children are involved with the surprise, you might want to tell them just before the surprise happens, so they don't give it away. It can be really hard for kids to keep such a big, exciting secret and they can easily slip up in conversation with the guest of honor. They can also ask questions that give away the surprise if things are not normal.
• Make sure no clues are left lying around. For my daughter's surprise party I took all of my food and decorations over to my sister-in-laws house right after purchasing them so there was no possibility my daughter could accidentally see anything.
  
• Consider the dress code. Telling my parents that their surprise 50th wedding anniversary party was a reunion was perfect for a lot of things but I hadn't anticipated my father's choice of dress for the occasion. My dad arrived at the party wearing the tee-shirt with my great grandfather on it that my brother had made for a family reunion years earlier. My sister had tried to encourage my dad to change before they left for the party but he insisted that he had to wear his reunion shirt to the "reunion." In the end it wasn't tragic that my dad had on his silly tee-shirt because the party wasn't supposed to be formal and we weren't in a fancy restaurant so he wasn't entirely embarrassed with his outfit. My sister had managed to convince him to bring another shirt, just in case, that he never did get a chance to change into. To be honest, I was thrilled with his choice of dress because it showed he really had bought in to the whole reunion charade, hook, line and sinker.
• Handle RSVP's carefully. When I threw my daughter's surprise 16  1/2 birthday party I had her friend put out a Facebook invite to everyone for the fake party, the one at his house, but then I personally messaged everyone who was invited as well as sent them a physical invitation through the postal service that explained the real party and the surprise. I also reminded everyone in private messages that the party was not actually the Facebook event but a surprise at a different location. Facebook invitations or events are dangerous ways to send surprise invitations because even if you have it be a selective invitation, there seem to be ways that your "friends" can see that you were invited or that you commented or liked something to do with the party depending on the restrictions you have on your Facebook. Kids often have loose privacy policies about their Facebook accounts and the world sees things that were intended to be private. As far as I know, the only safe way distribute information on Facebook is through individual private messages. You also have to be careful that people don't leave RSVP messages on family answering machines or email addresses.
• Have your guests arrive early. If your guests are showing up at the same time as the guest of honor, obviously the guest of honor will know that something is not quite right. Emphasize the need for punctuality but allow time for guests to be late and still not ruin the surprise.
• Encourage car pooling. Having a ton of cars parked in front of the party house is a dead giveaway that something is up--unless of course you have tricked the guest of honor by pretending to be taking them to a fictitious event where it would make sense that there are lots of cars.
• Hide visible decorations. Unless you want the surprise to be before the guest of honor enters the event, you have to keep all decorations hidden from the outside view. When I threw the surprise party for my daughter, I was able to have balloons outside because part of the deception was that my sister-in-law was having a party at her house that we had to take chairs to.
• Act natural around the guest of honor before the event. In order to surprise someone they can not suspect that anything out of the ordinary is going on. You have to proceed with life as if nothing is special about the day. For my parent's 50th anniversary surprise we were pretending this was a reunion and historically our reunions have been "bring your own dinner" affairs but because this wasn't really a reunion my siblings and I were bringing the meal for everyone invited. My parents, however, were expecting a reunion so my sister just went along with my parents when they stopped on the way to the party to pick up fried chicken.
• Have someone bring the guest of honor to the event. You can't always count on the guest of honor being on time or even coming at all if you don't arrange to have someone else bring them to the event. My sister lives as far away from my parents as I do and her husband and 3 of her 4 kids were not able to come to my parent's surprise anniversary party which was disappointing but ended up being a blessing because it meant that she and her baby came to the party with my parents. Had my sister not been with my parents, they would have shown up to the party an hour early! My sister was able to stall them at a grocery store when she realized that they were going to be early and thus the surprise was not spoiled.
• Synchronize watches. Make sure that the person bringing the guest of honor is on the same time as the party host.

Despite your greatest efforts, surprises can be spoiled by innocent remarks and situations. When my oldest son was born, friends at my church threw a huge surprise baby shower. I was totally oblivious until my mom, who was visiting, said something about needing another gift. I stupidly asked why and she fumbled. I knew something was up but I was so touched that everyone would go to the bother for me that I pretended to not figure it out and acted as surprised as I could. I was genuinely surprised at the amount of people who came and cared. My daughter's surprise 16 1/2 birthday managed to be a surprise for months, right up until the about a half an hour before we left for the party. She was curling her sister's hair when my older daughter's friend (who lives in another country) called. My youngest daughter, the soon to be guest of honor, told her to put the phone on speaker so that they could continue curling the hair. Nobody told the friend that she was on speaker so when she asked what my oldest daughter was doing and she said that she was getting ready for a party her friend asked, "Is that the surprise party for your sister?" Ack! The surprise wasn't a total loss, apparently my youngest daughter didn't realize that the surprise party and the party they were going to were the same thing. So the moral of all of this is that if your surprise is discovered prematurely, don't panic. Relax and roll with it! Fretting about it will just make the guest of honor feel bad that they missed out on something, and chances are there are things about the event that will still sufficiently surprise them. After all, even though it is not the ideal moment or the intended moment, at some point, it is still a SURPRISE!

What have you done to keep the surprise in your surprise parties?

Let Them Eat Cake!

When it come to kids parties my advice is to scrap the meal and just let them eat cake.  It’s not that I think kids should get pumped up on sugar but I know that they don’t appreciate food at parties and going to all the bother to fix a meal is not worth it. Kids can be picky eaters and trying to please all of them can cause unnecessary stress for any host.  My oldest son’s first friend party was incredibly stressful because I thought I had to serve a meal and was trying to keep everything hot and ready as the guests arrived only to find that I had to beg some of them to eat or at least force them to wait at the table so others could finish their meals.

Adults throw dinner parties where the entertainment includes a fabulous dining experience and a chance to socialize.  A kids party, on the other hand,  is all about the games, activities and treats.  It’s unfortunate that as we get older we often limit our amusements to eating and end up using any spare time exercising to rid ourselves of unwanted pounds that our indulgences produce. Ironically, kids often find meal time more of a chore than an entertaining experience and yet they have metabolisms that allow them to eat just about anything without ever facing the negative consequences.

I’m not condoning reckless abandonment of the four food groups and I acknowledge that poor eating habits put kids on the destructive path of obesity, but we’re talking about parties here and I am assuming that a party is a special occasion for a child and not an everyday occurrence.  As the host, your primary concern is for your guests and the most important thing you need  to concentrate on is making sure that everybody has a good time.  Since a kid’s idea of a good time is not necessarily based on a meal, a host of a kid’s party should plan for a lot of games and activities and spend any culinary efforts on treats and dessert.

Kid’s parties don’t have to be long, an hour and a half to two hours is plenty of time.  Schedule kid’s parties between meals so that parents know you aren’t feeding the kids.  You can also say that “light refreshments” or “treats” will be served in the invitation implying that “lunch” or “dinner” will not.  If your adult “need to provide food” can't be ignored, there are simple and easy meals that you can serve at a kid’s party like hot dogs and pizza.

If you are worried about a bunch of sugar-induced-crazy-kids running around, relax and serve the cake last.  I actually love to serve cupcakes because they are less messy and can be easily sent home.

Another thing to think about when serving food at a party is allergies or food sensitivities.  Nut allergies and gluten sensitivities are two of the most prevalent food issues that plague our society today.  At my son’s first grade party I opted to forgo the meal and just deal with treats and dessert.  It turned out that one of the guests was allergic to strawberries.  Her mother was so thrilled that she was invited. Apparently other parents had been too nervous to deal with her allergy and so she rarely got party invitations.  I tried to insure that all of the food at the party complied with her allergy but just to be safe, the cupcakes and treats were given to the kids as they left the party.

As kids get older they appreciate food more and can enjoy parties with food based themes like mystery dinners or progressive dinners.  Until then, however, keep it simple and just let them eat cake!

Photo Credit: iStockphoto and Party Time Mysteries

When Planning a Party Expect the Unexpected AND the Uninvited!

I’ll never forget one of the first parties I ever threw for my oldest son where I invited his friends, as opposed to just having the family over.  It was the year he started Kindergarten.  Not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings I had insisted he invite all of the boys in his class as well as a handful of girls.  I believe there were 18 on the guest list.  My mom always said to invite twice as many guests as you really expect to show up but obviously times have changed and almost all of them came...and then some!  I made a lot of mistakes with that first party and I have to say it is amazing I wanted to ever host a party again. Mistakes are opportunities to learn but it is always easier to learn without having to make the mistake yourself so here are a few of the lessons I learned with that first party.

Lesson #1: When planning an outdoor party you can NEVER count on the weather to cooperate. My son’s birthday is at the end of March and it rarely snows in Victoria in January, let alone in March, so the expectation that it could be an outdoor party was not unrealistic. As luck would have it, Victoria had a freak snow storm that day and I was forced to bring the party inside after originally planning to hold it outside.  ALWAYS have a plan B for the location of your party when planning an outdoor party.

Lesson #2: If you are serving food at your party, make sure you have it all prepared before hand so you only have to warm it up or have someone else be in charge of cooking it so you can concentrate on the guests.  Having the party location change at the last minute wasn’t that traumatic but the fact that I had mistakenly thought I was expected to serve lunch and was frantically rushing about trying to have the food ready when the party started while simultaneously greeting guests and entertaining 5 year olds was.

Lesson #3: Unexpected guests may show up.  With my son’s party I hadn’t considered the fact that some of the parents were meeting me for the first time and since the guests were young it is normal, apparently, for parents and families to be included in the festivities.  Being a newbie host at kid parties I didn’t realize this expectation until one of the guest’s dad, step mom and little brother waltzed in and happily announced as they proceeded to take off the 2 year old’s coat and shoes, “He is so excited to come to his first party!”  All I could think was, “But he wasn’t invited!”  I quickly grabbed a goodie bag for the toddler and told the lady, “You can come back in 2 hours to pick up his brother.”

No party is going to go perfectly, there will always be a few surprises, but if you know that in advance and are willing to be a bit flexible you will survive and your party will be a success.  I’d love to hear some of the things you have learned from your parties.


Photo credit: iStockphoto