Party Manners Please! Thank You.

Naturally you’d like your birthday child to be a beautifully behaved, courteous host or hostess who is more concerned about their guests’ pleasure than about his or her own. Yeah, well, don't hold your breath. More likely that won’t happen for a good many years. Parties often bring out the worst in very young children–your own and the guests. While manners are important, don’t ruin the party for your child by prompting or scolding; this isn’t the time.

Though your child's natural inclination will not yet be to assume the perfect role of host, you can prevent embarrassing rudeness by talking about the party beforehand. We are so used to party traditions that we often forget to tell a 2 or 3 year old what to expect. It’s a good idea to talk about the sequence of events and the rules you expect to be followed. You can try to get a few simple messages about good manners across to all but the youngest of children by following these simple suggestions:

•Encourage your child to disguise his or her ‘me first’ behavior, at least to the extent of saying hello to the guests before grabbing the presents.

Presents at Kid's Parties--When to Open the Gifts and How to Make it Go Smoothly

For most kids, the presents are the highlight of their party. Sometimes, however, it can be a difficult time for the guests since, after all, the presents are not for them. Also, children can be brutally honest and say the darndest things. My nephew, for example, was thrilled with most of the toys he received as gifts but when he opened some clothes from his grandmother he tossed them asside and said, "I hate this!" My sister-in-law was mortified and had to quickly try to make him apologize. It is important to talk with the birthday child before the party about manners. Stress the importance of saying "thank you" for each present--even the ones they may not love. Play "What If?" with the child to practice what to say if they already have something like the gift they just opened, if they don't like the gift or if there is any problem with the gift in any way (for example, if they have an allergy or are not allowed to have certain toys like guns).

When it comes to presents I prefer to leave the present opening for the end of the party but really,